Thanksgiving with the Thomases

Several months ago I liked this one girl and she liked me back. I talked about her with my family and they were excited about the prospect of someday meeting this girl. As I was talking to one of my cousin-in-laws he asked "have you put her through the Thomas test yet?" I had never heard of that and inquired. He then gave me the Thomas test which is a scenario of when someone new comes to a family party. He had gone through this himself and gave it to me through experience. By the way, the Thomases are my mom's side. I am going to give you the test so that you can see if you are compatible with my family as well as to show you how awesome they really are.

We begin by walking into my grandparent's house through the kitchen. We are immediately greeted by my grandma whom I introduce the girl to. My grandma asks quite loudly how we are and when we respond she turns away because she's become distracted and can no longer hear us. We round the corner into the dining room where we are greeted by my aunts Jeanne and Jamie. They are twins and have this amazing ability to read each other's minds and to laugh hysterically at something only they understand. Both are very loud. They treat all of their neices and nephews as their own children so they both stop talking to one another and rush over to us. They embrace both us, give me a kiss on the forehead and just stare. They then begin laughing over something they communicated telepathically and we continue our journey.

Our next desination is the basement where my new girlfriend will meet all of my cousins. As we travel there we see my uncles (the son-in-laws). Marrying into a family dominated by women, they have learned to keep their mouths shut and do their own thing at family parties. We don't talk to them, maybe just a passing hello. As we walk down the stairs, we begin to hear derogatory and rude remarks fly through the air. This is how my cousins and I show our love for one another. As we go around the room doing introductions, we hear innappropriate questions about our love life from one cousin, degrading remarks about me from another, and "it's about time" comments from a third. Once introductions have passed and the dust has settled, we sit on the couch and probably watch Spongebob Squarepants (my 21 year old cousins favorite). If she can sit there, hand in mine, and smile upon her face, then she has passed.

This is in tribute to my "loud and obnoxious family" (quote from mom). I am so grateful for them and all they do and are.


These are some of my cousins at Christmas 2009. Our faces have been swapped with one another.