How to Get a Girl

My roommates and I are currently brainstorming ways to get a girlfriend. This is what we've come up with:

-Have Taylor Rasmussen's hair
-Have Matt Fechser's body
-Have Cade Adams' height
-Have Jason Steinmann's wit
-Be a cocky jerk
-Work out
-Be funny, but not obnoxious
-Be athletic
-Have money
-Have a nice car
-Invent new dates that have never been done before
-Pursue a meaningful education (meaning we can't do what we want, rather do what is going to support her spending)
-Eat more than girls
-Be tall
-Don't be too short
-Don't watch too much sports, but be sure to watch some
-Never be right
-Be outgoing but not pushy
-Be a good kisser

We're feeling bitter, okay? Girls are too critical sometimes. The End.